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Marlowe Spade And The Thought Assassins – (Satire Fiction – Draft Only – Part 1)

May 25, 2011

File under: Satire, Fiction – Marlowe Spade, “Food Detective” of the future, uncovers the sinister world of  Thought Assassins.

The year: sometime in the not too distant future.  The place: one of those urban wastelands that once promised to be an eco-converted haven but grossly underestimated the compounding amount of non-biodegradable waste that we humans love to throw away.

It happened when I was thwarted by the heart attack case I was investigating while on the force and lost my job over. Yeah, I used to be one of them, those flat-footed civil servants – always at the mercy of the political ambitions of whoever was Mayor at the time. They didn’t like what I was digging up so they fired me – the only qualified food detective around who could investigate murder by food.

Well, I was investigating this heart attack case, an OD on cholesterol, when the suits wanted nothing but to bury it and I refused.  There was something that stunk about the whole thing and, well you can  blame it on my principles, but I wouldn’t let it go and it cost me.  It cost my job. The City (with a capital “C”) didn’t want to have to deal with the possibility that murder could be committed by simply serving an egg or a  hamburger.  Given the number of heart attacks still going on in the City and the implications of potentially having investigate all of them and what it might cost was way too much for them and their petty political agendas so they closed the case and I got the sack.

I was too good at my job and they knew it and so they gave me a handsome severance – a payoff, more like it! I didn’t complain yet it was my damn conscious that wouldn’t quit. Beyond the stupid politics there was something wrong about that case that bothered me.  I couldn’t just let it go and so as soon as I could I put my “feelers” out and, thanks to the severance, set-up my private agency: “Marlowe Spade, Private Food Detective” – which happens to be, not coincidentally, the very first and only one of it’s kind. Marlowe Spade – Private Food Dick, yep, that’s me.

That’s when it happened.  One of my “feelers” – Jimmy, the orphan – a good kid – came back to me with a hand written 500 page manuscript.  I’ve been up all night reading it.   I’ve never seen anything like it. First of all, no one writes anything by hand in this day and age. But it wasn’t the hand writing that fascinated me. It was the title and subject matter that got me:  “The Thought Assassins Field Manual and Guide.” It was a guide explaining how to assassinate someone by thought alone! And I thought I was ahead of the game when I predicted murder by food years ago but this was something that took even me by surprise! Yet there it was on paper in black and white. It not only covered advanced techniques and optimum conditions for remote thought execution, like the best weather and geographic situations but it also went on to describe how it all began.

Apparently, it all began ages ago with some guy named Norman Vincent Peale and a book he wrote called, “The Power Of Positive Thinking”.  Then came another book by a woman, “Louise Hay”, called, “You Can Heal Your Life!” where she began to connect thoughts with health problems and specific biological issues.  From there it was not much of a stretch to take the leap of exploring the effects of negative thinking on a person’s body and the guy who did that is mysteriously listed in the book as Mr. “X”.  Mr. X was the one who was credited with discovering the possibility of actually killing someone by thought alone.  Apparently he was an anonymous supporter of the Latter Day Temple and Order of Positive Thought And Prayer while secretly conducting his negative thought experiments.  I always regarded the followers of the Temple Of Positive Thought to be well-meaning harmless religious kooks but, boy was I wrong! I am guessing that this mysterious Mr. X was the one who wrote this Guide and that he may still be alive. Or maybe not, but regardless I was going to find out.

To be continued…

One Comment leave one →
  1. George Bakhos permalink
    May 27, 2011 10:49 am

    Love the humour in the Marlowe Spade and the thought assassins,but how true.Thought and food two of the most deceptive killers.Good thing some of us have a conscience to be aware of these issues,thanks to the MACRO WORLD.
    Your mum and dad sure knew what they were doing before they brought you into this world.And not to forget as to the reason behind the mans name, PHIYA =FIRE.Very appropriately chosen,they could see ahead of time the mayhem their son was about to unfold.Keep up the good work.
    P.S. Funny thing that conscience,it wont let you rest until we find out the TRUTH{HUMAN SPIRIT]
    Go hard PHIYA,we both know that the truth always prevails in the end.GOODBYE DECEIT.
    Keep true my friend. GEORGE BAKHOS

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